Let the hate flow through you

It's the eve of the Gopher-Badger football game, so I thought I'd post some good reasons to hate the Badgers.

Proximity to obnoxious fans
Being that Minneapolis/St. Paul is so close to Madison, WI, many UW grads migrate to our fine city looking for employment and other opportunities to live a fruitful life. Unfortunately, they show up at our games, irrelevantly and constantly talking about Brett Favre while wearing those horrid red hoodies. That leads me to the next hate-point:

Ugly school colors
Red and white is a shitty sight. That's one of the reasons why I hate the Badgers and traditional peppermint candy canes. When watching their home games on TV, the site of all that red makes me want to vomit. The only other time I got ill from seeing to much of that despised color was when I looked at the electoral map from the 2004 election.

Jump Around
These morons have a "tradition" of playing House of Pain's "Jump Around" over the loudspeaker at the end of the 3rd quarter. They took an obnoxious, early 90's hip hop tune that is played in stadiums and arenas all across the country and made it their own. How did they do this? Much like a classroom full of pre-schoolers, their entire student section takes the lyrics from the chorus literally. Voila! Instant, manufactured "tradition." To me, the novelty has worn off, and this is about as cool as playing The Village People's "YMCA" and doing all the letters with your arms.

Lack of Discipline
During the 2007 off-season, former UW running back Lance Smith slaps around his girlfriend in the middle of the street, takes her shoes, and leaves her stranded. His punishment? He's not allowed to travel with the team and play in road games. However, he's still with the team for every practice function and suits up and plays in every home game (71 carries, 429 yards for the season).
If you thought that was rough, wait until you hear what happened to cornerback Jack Ikegwounu. He was arrested with his brother at the end of the 2006 regular season for breaking into somebody's apartment and stealing an XBox. I don't even know if he got a slap on the wrist, because he was still able to play in their New Years Day bowl game and played all of the 2007 season. Karma police caught up to him though, as he got a nice groin punch from our own Eric Decker in last year's game and he ended up blowing out his knee while preparing for NFL predraft camps last spring.

Idiot Coach
If there was a Coach of the Year subcategory award for "Coach That Looks Like His Team's Mascot," then Bret Bielema would be looking towards winning that award for the third straight year. The combination of his buzzcut, fat head, and squinty eyes is enough. But takes the cake is the fact that he has one of those receding hairlines that attacks the upper corners of his forehead, leaving him with an awkward penninsula of hair that protrudes down the center of his head. That is how a grown man looks like a badger.

I could go on and on, but I don't want to drift to far to the darkside.

Better Dead Than Red!